Isn't Life Just Unfair?

Heyy Blogsville... Missed Ya! No, I'm not done with exams, but come on give me a break, kk?

Anywayz, Quick question. Does any of you guyz have that member of the opposite sex that you're just so real with; That one person that you know deep down, your feelings have surpassed the 'friend-zone' with? That one person who sees right through your BS and isn't afraid to call you out on it; That one person who knows when you're faking a smile? The one you can tell anything and everything to without feeling like you'll be judged or looked at differently; The one who you argue with like an old married couple? The one you can call up at ANY time of the day or night and will still get his/her FULL Un-divided attention?

I certainly have some-one exactly like that, and in my own case, it happens to be my ex! Yes, My EX! I know all about why it's not a good idea to remain in touch with your ex and what have you, and with any of my other exes, I would have been at the fore-front of the supporters. But not with this particular fellow! No, I'm not being partial.

Some of you probably know him especially if I told you about him on twitter (chaii those DMs are HOT sha hehehe) or skype. For those who don't know, Imma tell you a little about him. But unfortunately, I won't mention names. I would've known him for three years this October, we started off as friends for a loong time before we decided to turn our friendship into something deeper.He's currently in Ireland, I'm in Hungary though! Imma admit, I would have thought you crazy if you had said we'd still be friends after the relationship. It had its ups and downs, of-course, but I guess we never let go of our friendship even while dating! I'm saying this because I've never been as open in other relationships as I was in the one I had with him!

As such when we decided to give up on the dating scene, it was more of a mutual agreement, no tears, tantrums or drama! NO we didn't have a fight or anything that led to the break-up, we just decided to back-off! In fact, I think you could say we had more of a friendship than a relationship even then! And Now, It's like we can't get enough of each other. We're on ALL of each other's social networks (except BBM and that's because I refused to activate mine). The chemistry's still there HOT as ever, the attraction deeper than before. And the flirting, OMG don't even get me started. People still believe we still got something going on, whether under-g or otherwise, especially since we're both still SINGLE! ;-).

We BOTH acknowledge the facts, hell we even talk about them and meehn, those conversations leave me speechless! He's so open about his feelings and I just can't help but reciprocate. He understands that it's hard for me to open-up to any-one and he's always willing to wait until I'm ready to open-up! We talk like every-other day, we talk about the randomest things, chaii, we can talk for hours, even go all-night long and believe me, there's nothing in particular we talk about even his 'runs' aren't hidden from me! In fact, I SKYPED WITH HIM like 2 Hours ago!! He got me 'addicted' to Naeto-C's 5and6 song, then I got addicted to Naeto-C's '10 over 10' and 'Share My Blessings' tracks. He's always begging me to activate the BBM stuff and I'm always threatening to change the phone. Yes, I'm mean like that!

Anyways, lemme stop here before I turn you guys away from my blog due 2 my loong posts.. *Smiles sweetly*

UPDATE!!

Chaii, Soo much has happened 2 mi ehn dt I dont even know where 2 start from.. Buh Imma definitely say that the 'emancipation, the new me' I spoke about has definitely been happening..

The high-light of that emancipation so far was when I decyded to let go of a terrible emotional turmoil I was in.. Of-course a guy was involved nd the short story was I finally decyded 2 let go of sum-1 who I realise now never really saw me as relation-ship material, despite all he said and my spending 3 academic semesters falling for him..

Another issue that happened was when some man said I should take care of a babe (who's in medical foundation in my school) 4 him all because according to him she's going 2 be his 2nd WIFE!! I spent the next 2 days asking people why Men think through their ASSES and not their BRAINS. LOL... I'm still wondering why Men think lyk that,especially Northern Men..

I lost an elder 'brother' this Wednesday thanks to HIV! Yh, I'm not gonna lie and sae it was some funny illness, MBAH, Imma tell the truth and say it was HIV. If U cant handle the truth, abegi leave!! Honestly tho, I still can't believe he's gone.. Hopefully, Imma get closure, and accept it now that Ive actualli written it myself, without having to go through the stages of grief!

And finally, I made some new friends who actually accept me for who I am and don't even try making me feel uncomfortable hanging out with them..Of-course, the friendship is still kinda new, so Im not gonna jump into conclusions and say that it's a sure-friendship. Na lie, no be now-now friendship dey start ooh!! Not anymore sha..

Oh yh, before I forget, my ex and I are still on talking terms and the friendship is even better than the relationship was. i just find it hard 2 believe, but hey, I'm happy with it!! I'm even skypin with him right now.. *Wink*

Nywyaz, that's all 4 now.Gotta run.. School's been preventing me from commenting on your various blogs, but I can assure you, I read every-single blog post.. It's been yours truly,

A WALK TO REMEMBER

I'm in a kinda teary mood this morning, so please excuse the flow of emotion you may feel in this post.. As it is sef, I don't even think I hav a title for this post, which is unusual in itself, cos I believe that all my posts have to have titles...Anyways sha, what prompted all this you may be wonderin?? Well, Imma just sae a movie... Crayzee ryt, I can imagine.. Buh not if yhu're a 'romantic' @ heart like me and den the movie in question was 'A Walk To Remember'... Apparently, there's also a book with the same name by Nicholas Sparks.. (Hmm mayb, that'll be the title of this post..)

The summary of the whole thingy sha is that: It was a high school setting, the heroine of the movie had Cancer, the hero was a bad, popular boy gone good (ofcourse thanks 2 d heroine naa)... Heroine was the daughter of the reverend, who had never done a bad thing in her life (before nko?) After some misdemeanour which almost got Hero expelled, but instead got him some school stuff that he'd never think of doing in his whole life which included being the lead role in the spring musical (Hero inside Hero movie??), and working with the ''slow learners' on Saturdays...They met when he asked her 2 help him with his lines for the play.. Initially, he didn't want his friends to know that he had to practice with her so he brushed her off 1ce in front of them but later regretted it after she refused 2 help him anymore.. Sha, he managed without her, show was a success, and he realised he was falin in luv with her.. She didnt want nyfing 2 do wiv him until the day he took her side against his friends when they played a nasty trick on her.. Then she decided to give him a chance and eventualli fell in love with him... All along she hadn't told him about the cancer, so when she did, she tried ending it with him as she knew she wouldnt live for long but he refused telling her that he wouldn't go away no mater what she did and even went so far as to prove that he meant what he said.. At the end of the whole thing sha, she died after they got married that summer, he made up with his dad and eventualli changed his course of life.. Please watch the movie, I've already spilled a lot of gist buh yhu still need to watch it to get how I feel...

Some of you might be wondering, ehen sooo what? They fell in love, she died, end of tori naa.. But not when you picture the guy who initially wanted to go 2 college and med-skool just to get awae from the small town now changin his mind to study medicine because he wants to (and I suspect because of her disease)... So my main gist is how many of us are actually willing to get married to someone despite the fact that we know they have one terminal disease or the other.. And how many of us are willing to actually do something for someone despite the fact that we know they can never re-pay us??This movie simply reminded me of some of my reasons for studying medicine, the power of friendship (whether positive or negative),and the fact that true love realli exists and that sometimes we don't have to do things just because we think we might or should be rewarded, but because we care soo much about the receiver and not the benefits..

FACING OUR MORTALITY!!,

Wheew.... it's bin a crayzee week and Wednesdae aint even here yet... What with the bevy of tests and preparations for examz, and also the mini-dinner prepared for a friend's birth-dae yesterday, it realli has been one helluva week... And to cap it all, yesterday, I came face to face with the reality that DEATH really has no specific time or place and that it's realli the end of us all.

What happened was that at the above mentioned dinner, another friend had called to reject her invitation because she needed to be alone as one of her own friends had just died the day before. Of course, we couldn't let her do that as she obviously needed to be around people and not alone as she thought, so we quickly decided to shift the venue of the dinner to her place, but she declined saying that she was going to come over instead.. We were a bit skeptical about it, but we decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.. "After-all, we can still go over there if she doesn't show up in half an hour", we reasoned. Well, she showed up sha and she told us what had happened... As it turned out, her friend had slipped into a coma since Friday, out of which she never returned.. She stayed in that coma till Monday which was when she died... She had died of the dreaded SICKLE-CELL ANEMIA disease..

As some-one who had had a personal experience with the disease, I could understand more than anybody present the kind of sorrow she was experiencing... Trust girls now, we simply turned the gist into one of death and the people we knew who had been taken away from us, whether suddenly or expected.. The general consensus was that DEATH realli had no way of warning you about its coming. It simply came and went away with your soul... We commisserated with her and did everything within our power to cheer her up.. I guess I can say that we were fairly succesful at that cos' she looked better when she was leaving after the dinner...

As if that wasn't enough excitement for one week, this afternoon, yours truly, went for a check-up at the pharmacy; you know, the whole height, weight, blood pressure etc etc.. Sha no need 4 result details but Imma tell yhu guys that the blood pressure results were definitely not good news sha... Apparently, I have what's called STAGE-1 HYPERTENSION. It's caused by stress, weight-gain, and such things that cause heart problems.. All that means is simply my heart contracts faster and harder than normal (systolic) but not so for my heart relaxation (diastolic).. Ps, it doesn't always hapen that way, sha.. Anyways, bottomline is that I have to undergo a complete change of lifestyle and diet and also try de-stressing myslelf, otherwise I might just find myself seriously hypertensive before my 25th birthday (that's just me ooh, it's not from a doctor, soo abeg don't quote me)..

All I could do this evening was just think of everything that had happened this past few months in an attempt to understand exactly how I could have Hypertension, whether stage-1, or 2 or whatever. I mean, like seriously, after yesterday's gory fest about Death, I now realise that I allegedly have Stage-1 Hypertension, how could life get any more exciting (NO, don't answer that). But meehn, like seriously those two incidents alone made me realise say, "OMO dis life na only one ooh... Imagine, barely 20 and 'diagnosed' with Hypertension.. as in hunh?, like WTH? how did that happen??... Abeg, before I start regretting (something I rarely do) my life and stuff, I'd betta fix my lifestyle as advised or waste my time stressing out and stuff..."
Anywyaz, people please take care of yourselves, and your loved ones.. Abeg, dis life no get photocopy ooh!!

I THINK I FINALLY BELIEVE IN THE WORD/FEELING "LOVE!!!!

I'm afraid what I'm about to wryte might hurt some people I truly care about and I really want you guys to know I'm truly sorry. I just think it's tyme I clear the air concerning my feelings about the word love!! I've honestly never been the kind of girl who easily fell in love, so as you can imagine, on those rare instances where I did, I definitely fell hard!! Having said that, let me explain the above topic.

It's not like I've never believed in love, no, on the contrary, I was one of the strongest believers of that word. But thanks to an experience I had with some douche-bag in 2007, (yh, 1 of the few I fell for), I had to learn and grow up fast enough that it took me a long time to get back on my feet. The result of that experience was that I promised myself I was never going to cry for anybody anymore, irregardless of who the person was, and I'm proud to say that I've held on to that. It definitely wasn't easy but I had to use sarcasm as a way to make it happen. The downside to that is the fact that that decision took away every humane feeling I had at the time, though I've gotten them back. The only humane feeling I've yet to get back is the ability to cry when necessary, I still don't cry, no matter how touching a situation might be. I mean, the tears would be there, but they would never leave my eyes, you just had to look closely to know I really felt like crying but couldn't.

Another aftermath of that incident in 2007 was that I totally stopped believing in love, whether as a word or even as a feeling. I just totally convinced myself that there was no such thing as love. In fact, until recently, the word love wasn't in my vocabulary. The highest thing I could say to some-one was 'I like you', 'I care about you' etc. I could never say 'I love you' and mean it as love. I mean, I could say 'I love you', but while it meant just that to others, I meant it as 'I like you. It was so bad that for a while I went through the whole anti-Danielle Steel, anti-Nora Roberts phases, and started going through the pro-Stephen King, pro-Sidney Sheldon kinda phases, all to re-assure myself that love, whether true or otherwise didn't exist. I still remember my friends over here trying to make me believe in it again, even going so far as to quote 'Romeo and Juliet' and occassionally 'Titanic' and such romance-induced stuff for me, all to no avail. I even hated pet-names such as "baby-boo, sweets, honey, etc" because I felt they were fake and all a farce in cahoots with this thing called love. As a matter of fact, I don't hate it anymore, but I'm still not comfortable with them.

Until recently. And before you even start asking let me just say, YES, it's thanks to another guy. I've been friends with him for a couple of years now, we had a thing a while back, personally left because I wasn't so sure of myself among other reasons, continued being friends with him and when we both realised the attraction was still there, decided to get back together. And I'm really starting to get my old self back thanks to him, probably because he knows how to use sarcasm to get me thinking about stuff without even sounding pushy. (Don't start feeling fly here ooh!!lol) Sha sha, I had to re-think this whole love-stuff again and I realised I'd actually started believing in it again. I'm not going to make this sound like some Mills and Boon romance story ooh, ehen, so don't even start going all teary-eyed and stuff ...(lmao)
Anyways, without deviating and wasting too much grammar, I just want to say that I'm sorry if this piece really hurts any of you guys. I just didn't want to go down that same road again. And I LOVE you guys, (nd I realli mean love you)! Thanks for being there!!
This is for y'all. It's Taylor Swift's 'Mine'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPBwXKgDTdE